I can be a little dense at times, a little out of the loop. In this particular case, I was very out of the loop. The wonderful Smashingbird gave me the Plastic Joy Award. Only, she gave it to me in April. The Plastic Joy Award is a fun little thing where a blogger selects five or more characters from film or television who they would most like to bump uglies with. Well, I say better late than never, especially when it comes to things as fun to do as this! Without further ado, here are the five characters I would most love to love: 
Cary Grant as T.R. Devlin in NotoriousCary Grant was always so smooth, so suave, so unnervingly elegant that it was almost too much to bear at times. There is no choice but to swoon over him. This is why I love him as the hardened, jaded government agent Devlin - he is the hero of the story, but he isn't an obviously likable guy. He falls in love with Ingrid Bergman's character, Alicia Huberman, the alcoholic daughter of a Nazi scientist, but is too hardened to admit his feelings to a woman of such ill-repute. Their kiss - which last for minutes but is broken up into shorter kisses in order to pass through the Hays Code - is absolutely delirious. There is a scene mid-way through the film where the two meet up at the horse races under the watchful eye of Alicia's new husband - when she begins to cry, he stares straight ahead and says emotionlessly "Dry your eyes, baby - it's out of character." I don't know why, but it kills me every time. 
Marlon Brando as Stanley Kowalski in A Streetcar Named DesireI read somewhere that you should watch On the Waterfront if you want to fall in love with Brando, and A Streetcar Named Desire if you want to fall in lust. It's easy to see why - he wears skin-tight tee shirts half the time (and the other half of the time, he's shirtless!) While I'm not too fond of the brutish behavior, I love his rare moments of remorse and tenderness. When he screams "Stellaaaaa!" from the bottom of his neighbor's staircase, he begins to cry, thinking he has lost the love of his life, and then drops to the floor in self-disgust when she slowly walks down to him. I remember watching this scene in a high school English class about five times in a row (I guess I wasn't the only one who was done in by Stanley).  
Tim Curry as Dr. Frank-N-Furter in The Rocky Horror Picture ShowI think this reveals something rather unsettling about my personality. I don't know what it is (his fishnet-clad gams, perhaps?) but I just find Dr. Frank-N-Furter to be really attractive. If in some other dimension, we do end up hooking up - at least I can pick his brain afterward about lingerie and makeup tips. 
Ed Westwick as Chuck Bass in Gossip GirlWhy? Because he's Chuck Bass. Though my father finds him to be absolutely smarmy, I adore Chuck Bass. He has shattered all different stereotypes (before GG, I think we all could confidently say we didn't know a man could wear so much purple and baby pink and be such a committed womanizer), all the while being the most loveable ass on the planet. He's the only character who can get away with simply uttering his name as an excuse for his behavior (and have it not be followed by "... and I'm an alcoholic / drug addict / bag of douche.") His voice - coupled with the fact that it was patterned after that of Carlton Banks - truly does me in. 
Sean Connery as Mark Rutland in MarnieYes, he found the woman who robbed his company to be alluring rather than troubled. Yes, he blackmailed that same woman (Tippi Hedren, as the title character) into marriage with threatening to expose her kleptomaniacal ways. Yes, he also rapes her on their honeymoon. But other than that, I think he's a dream. I don't know, I guess I just have a thing for emotionally-vacant, strange men ... at least when it comes to the fictional ones. 
Ted Neeley as Jesus Christ in Jesus Christ SuperstarI can't figure out if wanting to bone Jesus in this movie means that I'm going to hell .... or if it means I'm a really awesome Christian. It's a very fine line. Also, I'll refrain from making the same joke that one of my friends (who was atheist) made about him being 'well-hung on the cross'. Because yeah, that's crossing a line.

Here are the blogstars I award the same plastic joy to (but I encourage everyone to do it - it's quite fun!):Lost MuseGlamorettaMusings & InspirationYou've Got the SilverBeatle GirlsRetro Active Critiques