Clockwise from the upper left corner: Betty Grable, in Mother Wore Tights; The Beatles "All You Need is Love"; in a plea from Ken, here's the Barbie cupcake from the Magnolia Bakery; a young Leo DiCaprio; a very Lolita-esque cover for Lula Mag; hands making hearts; swan necks; a new bride who is clearly a-okay; "Could you slipper little love my way?" vintage valentine; more swans; "LOVE" wall hanging by Paul Smith; the Disco Valentine's Ball, hosted by Patricia Field (and to which I was invited for being a loyal lil customer - unfortunately I couldn't go... I just need to move to New York City)For those single ladies out there who are seeking a gentleman friend tonight, I recommend you brief yourself on this before the festivities: How to fine-tune your gaydar. (Time Out New York)
Why can't I have a boyfriend from an '80s rom-com? Feathered hair and unrealistic sensitivity (plus Rob Lowe eyes and the fashion sensibilities of Jon Cryer's Duckie). Ugh, life is so unfair! (The Gloss)
Despite how much I wish I was dating Andrew McCarthy's various 80s film alter egos, there are a lot of characters in romantic comedies who don't deserve love. Sorry Meg Ryan's entire film catalogue. (A.V. Club)
Composing a sweet mixtape for your honey? Check out this selection of the best sexual euphemisms in pop music lyrics, and let your playlist make itself. (No Good For Me)
Hey, annoying people who just got into a relationship - stop being so obsessed with your significant other. Read this list of single habits to keep when you're in love. Sincerely, your patient friends (Your Tango)
If you're looking for some fun tonight, call up your travel agent and book a ticket to one of the "kinkiest states of America." (Animal)
If you and your boyfriend are film buffs (or you are a film buff, and also can boss your significant other around), make a date at one of these famous places in cinematic history. (Daily Mail)
Retro flashback article (all the way to 1996!): the success of the Rules girls. Fifteen years later, with one of the authors divorced, I still kind of want to pick up a copy. Though, in the college universe where plans are made literally minutes before happening, declining a Friday date proposed after Wednesday would force me into hermitage. (New York Times)
Seriously one of the best articles I've ever read. I kid, but still - a list of the craziest love triangles in history is appropriate for V-Day. (Dolly Rocker Girl)
Oh Mon Dieu! French men aren't the greatest lovers in the world? Roger Vadim and Serge Gainsbourg just simultaneously rolled over in their graves. (Lemondrop)
This is true. These Valentine's Day gifts legitimately do not suck. (Flavorwire)
Of course it would be an anti-Valentine's Day guide exclusively for people in New York City. We all know by now Manhattanites don't believe in love. Woody Allen and his neuroses killed that idea back in 1975. (Refinery29)
Will someone please buy me these SVU valentines? These reach a different level of genius. (Brandon Bird)